Monday 5th September 2016, 9.35am (day 1,838)

I have developed this theory that, if I just acquire a hi-vis uniform, I will be able to go anywhere, do anything. I will be able to walk past “Authorised Personnel Only” signs with impunity, throw breaker switches, close public highways. I just need to swathe myself in fluorescent orange or green and it will all be possible.