Friday 30th October 2026, 12.25pm (day 5,545)
A gem from the National Archives. Some context: this is a letter regarding the 1922 transfer of Ascension Island from the Admiralty (up until then it was officially a ship, HMS Ascension) to the jurisdiction of the Governor of St Helena. “Letters Patent” are papers from the Crown that appoint someone to an official role. What the letter actually says is: “Your let[ter?] 10th July Ascension Letters Patent being passed and will be forwarded as soon as possible. Adm[iralt]y state withdrawal of garrison September 1st impracticable and have instructed Commandant Ascension to report final date of withdrawal a month beforehand. Letters Patent should be proclaimed after withdrawal.”
Not the most politically sensitive information, you’d think, although I suppose information that Ascension Island was about to be demilitarised might be of interest to some. Either way, whatever actually got transmitted is presumably the red text, which, if I’ve interpreted the order correctly, goes something like: UNHEEDEDLY LAPGELD FORCEMEAT SEWINGBIRD. ACEPHALIC GAUNTERIST SAGEWOOD ILLUDE INKINGPAD RENIDORA DANDERED ONE MOONBEAM. LAPGELD SECUTANA PROCLAIMED AFTER GAUNTERIST.
I like the ‘One Moonbeam’ particularly. Whoever was coming up with this stuff in 1922 deserves some kind of award for sheer poetry.
