Tuesday 18th January 2022, 2.55pm (day 3,799)

A twinge in my leg meant I booked myself in for a massage, but any images that word may conjure up, of women lying blissfully on a couch while being gently caressed, can be dismissed in favour of being wrestled and half-beaten into submission. At least I did not plump for the acupuncture; this model in the foyer of the House of Pain suggests there are far too many points of fresh, new torture to discover on the human body.