Thursday 23rd February 2017, 11.45am (day 2,009)

As of a couple of years ago our Meteorological Office started naming our winter storms in accordance with the convention for hurricanes, cyclones etc. — it’s more media-friendly, you can tweet about #StormDoris which is the one which apparently hit the UK today. I don’t personally know anyone called Doris, but I have gone off the name after today — however, we could of course have Storm Drew at this time next year.